Song ov Elmallahz Kumming: video

I am preparing an ebook edition of my poem, The Song ov Elmallahz Kumming. Actually, it will be 6 ebooks, one for each book of the poem. The first book is the shortest, about 300 lines or 8 pages. However, the ebook will have both stevetok and normtok versions, audio tracks of the poem in 2-4 stanza clips, a complete reading of the poem, and will include many illustrations and images as well. It will also include at least one video, an impressionistic interpretation of the opening scene of the poem, 28 seconds long (without title and credits, which I'll add later).

Here's the video. Naturally, I would greatly appreciate your critical feedback.

Portraits from a wedding

This excerpt from The Atternen Juez Talen is a scene from a marriage celebration from 1000 years ago in North Africa.

Thaerz the bodlen* drapen a suet a rag
                * wedding jester
Pachez an nots an haengee strips
Like the ruffel fetherz ov a troppikkel berd.
Him poze, him strut, then poze aggen
Az he mixxen Torrah an bawdee vers,
Shokkenz, an shor az maeks us howl.

Then thaerz the rabbiy loukenz askans,
Him fase as twistee az the Torrah he heer,
With him ekot terben in a brikwerk a shaedz
Ov skarlet an goel, a keenglee krown.

Arrown the tabelz awl pilen a foodz,
The povverish wunz with krustee naelz,
Thaer kallas hanz awl kreest an krakt,
A happallee slerpenz tanjeen and wienz.
An ammungst them, yungsterz grabben sweets,
Thaer cheeks a-bulj an krumz on thaer chin.

An thaer, dansen, like berdz aflok
Divenz an arkenz ov a seengel mien,
Or like skoolz a fish that dart an kerv,
The dansee madenz, aswerrellee skarvz.

An off tu the siedz the kroonen kroenz
With thaer goelden baengelz an hennah hanz,
The koel darkt iyz an silkee shawlz
A-weev in artfule jeyommetreez,
Like the taengellee branchenz a baren treez
Or the win-tos spray in the krash a waev.

An now the reb with krumz on iz chinz,
The yung boy, awl nottee thaer beerdz an grinz.
The kroenz dansen in thaer raggee kloeks.
The madenz a-talen thaer bawdee joeks.
The bodlen sidelz up tu my deer
An kissen her cheek an they dissappeer.