Introduction to Elmallah 2

Here's the introduction that opens Bouk 2 of The Song ov Elmallahz Kumming. I call it a "belated" introduction because it stands at the beginning of Bouk 2 rather than Bouk 1.

A Belated Introduction:

This poem originated in a series of 9 poems I wrote in 1976 to a woman who was to become my wife. At that time I assumed, unrealistically, that the underlying mythic and psychologic levels in those poems would be known and understood by the reader. I was unrealistic not only because those 9 short poems implied and made reference to far more than what was stated, but because the mythic and spiritual levels I was referring to were hardly even thought about by most 20th century poetry readers.

Coming to realize this, I have expanded that short series into this narrative in six books. It attempts to lay out some of the mythic foundations of our consciousness. Many of the images briefly glossed in this book will be transposed and transisted into other scenes in other parts of the poem. At the same time, images of what is yet to come will echo in these opening scenes. In the Prophetic Conscience, past, present, and future are intertwined.

Concerning Bouk 2: for Ertha it is set in a prehistoric moment, a timeless period from which she is emerging, as she experiences a glorious expansion of her consciousness. Elmallah, diffracted into that history, and giving its evolution direction, tries to reach to her and still hold on to the Divine Moment. Tho confined in her time, his mind is not so confined. Living beyond the photon boundary that shapes space in a closed sphere, dwelling in the axis of infinite time where all things exist in infinite multiplicity and all paths are parallel and non coherent, from that awareness he communicates with Ertha. Thought flows between them, visible to Elmallah, palpable to all his senses. His infinite bodies intersect her infinite bodies. He touches her. His infinitely repeating hand reaches between her infinitely mirrored legs, there where his eyes were originally drawn, to that dark moist center in her being. His arid Conscience is interleaved in a hyper-globe of pleasure, and then desire for pleasure, and then dependence on pleasure, and then despondence over his dependence.

Elmallah is astonished by their sexual crescendo. He feels it like a vast surf washing up on the sand. It is Ertha's Conscience washed by his Knowledge, followed by her perpetual forgetting. It is his energy penetrating her levels and withdrawing. It rushes - surf - he tells her of the Lor; withdraws - surf - she hears and recreates it in her Conscience. It rushes - surf - he sees how she has distorted his Knowledge; withdraws - surf - into his despair; rushes - surf - he touches her differently and new awarenesses emerge; ebb and flow while making love. The scene ends. For a moment Ertha glimpses a vision of the Lor - surf - is thunderstruck - surf - sees now the pantheon of Babylon standing above - surf - forgets that too - surf - remembers only that she has seen something awesome that she can't hold, can't comprehend.

Ertha's history with Elmallah is not a continuous series of events, but layered states, stratified in Their Conscience.

Yoma, stripped of notes and liturgy

In the previous 4 posts I presented the evolution of a poem, Yoma, from its first sketches to a "finished" expression (well, no poem is finished, but work may have ended on it). 

The last stage of the poem includes various embedded notes and Yom Kippur liturgy, which may significantly expand and enrich the vision of it, but at the same time, significantly complicates the reading. This is already a hard poem, 
1. written using the latest developments in Stevetok-metaEnglish, 
2. highly superimposed, and 
3. describing the esoteric-essential experience of Yom Kippur, that is, the experience of elevating oneself into the higher dimensions of reality, where the Divine stands at the edge of manifestation, so that one may see and judge oneself with the highest level of accuracy and honesty.

This is not easy listening.

So, here is the poem, stripped of its notes and liturgy. This is how it will first appear in The Atternen Juez Talen. It will appear again, later, edited, with notes and liturgy. In the version below, I leave in all the asterisks, showing where I have stripped out notes. You may want to refer to the complete version, after you've regained your balance in the poem's rarefied air, to see the notes, which I think add important information, especially the eka d'omray's. To that end, here's a link to the complete version:
Complete Version
and here's a link to the first Yoma post, with the original version, and more explanatory material, including what "eka d'omray" means.
Original Yoma Post

Yoma

Now the Yoma* uv hevvennee assents;
Beyonden ar Addom an the driven ergz,
Tu the gaten a liv an deth, the same.

Under thots an tulleets*, wavee in tents,
Faesles, stript ov ar boddee a pride,
Thaer we stanz befor ar Lor.
Hem expresshen ar dayz that we kan a volv,
Tu kwannaffy us on a waverree skael.
The mappen uv Hem an the mappen uv us:
The differrenshelz, thay ar the skael.

Us, an enfoeld uv this limmennel werl
Uppon ar Addom at the ej uv the C*.

Liken hi preesten we stan in this ej
In ar kotten kittelz* an a shrowd a deth,
Unferrellen faeth intu Addomz tume*.
I faenlee see frinjen lite in the wawlz,
Slivverren Adenz* a pulsen my selz,
Refazen my thots. How thin we ar!
Az klose tu God az a seengerz* breth
An az far awway, an the Lor iz vast!

Ware we be hoelden ar tumah seel,
Thaer we unfoelden ar lumen weengz
Tu span the turbolen skaelz uv us.
An now we ar reddee tu enter the Ark
That speken the Vois that spoken the werlz.
Momenten ajez, a skroel intu wun
Az this long morneeng iz neerlee dun.

Yoma, 4, complete

This brief but challenging poem is a highly superimposed text layering the nature of consciousness, quantum mechanical images, the theology of Yom Kippur, and the core liturgy for the morning of Yom Kippur (in italics).
Jump to Yoma 1, the first sketchout
Jump to Yoma 2, the first revision
Jump to Yoma 3, the second revision

Yoma

Now the Yoma* uv hevvennee assents;
                                                * that iz, Yoem Kepoor;
                                                   name uv traktate in Tawlmid on the toppek
                 Barruekh sheh’ummar, Bles Hem (hu speken the werlz)...
Beyonden ar Addom an the driven ergz,
Tu the gaten a liv an deth, the same.

                 Sellakh lahgoy kuddoesh, Forgiv the holee naeshen...
Under thots an tulleets*, wavee in tents,
                                                 * during standing praerz wun draeps a larj
                                                    praer shawl over the hed; see Jacob
                                                    Kramer’s paenting ‘Day of Atonement’
                 Uddoniy, seffuttiy teeftukh, 
                O Lor, open my lips (tu deklaer Yur praez)...
Faesles, stript ov ar boddee a pride,
Thaer we stanz befor ar Lor.
                 Ushumnu, We hav kum tu gilt...
Hem expresshen ar dayz that we kan a volv.
Tu kwannaffy us on a waverree skael.
                 Ul khaet shekhuttunnu, 
                For the sin uv ar sinnenz... 
The mappen uv Hem an the mappen uv us:
The differrenshelz, thay ar the skael.

                 Hahyoem yekkuttaev, 
                Tuday, ar inskrieb (in liven deth)... 
Us, an enfoeld uv this limmennel werl
Uppon ar Addom at the ej uv the C*.
                                                 * eka d’omray: ej uv the See

                 Nuh’arreetzekhah, We ar addor uv Yu...
Liken hi preesten we stan in this ej
In ar kotten kittelz* an a shrowd a deth,
                                                 * robe/shrowd,
                                                   sumtiemz worn on Yoem Kepoor 
Unferrellen faeth intu Addomz tume*.
                                                 * eka d’omray: tumah, impyurattee
                 Zukhoer lunnu, Rememmer us... 
I faenlee see frinjen lite in the wawlz,
Slivverren Adenz* a pulsen my selz,
                                                 * Edenz 
Refazen my thots. How thin we ar!
                 Kee unnu ummekhah, For we, Yur pepelz... 
Az klose tu God az a seengerz* breth
                                                 * eka d’omray: feengerz 
An az far awway, an the Lor iz vast!

                 Ul khaet shekhuttunnu, 
                For the sin uv ar sinnenz... 
Ware we be hoelden ar tumah seel,
Thaer we unfoelden ar lumen weengz
Tu span the turbolen skaelz uv us.

                Uvvenu Mawlkanu, ar Fother, ar Keeng 
An now we ar reddee tu enter the Ark
That speken the Vois that spoken the werlz.
Momenten ajez, a skroel intu wun
Az this long morneeng iz neerlee dun.


“eka d’omray”: this is a Talmudic term meaning “others say”, reflecting a disagreement among the sages, or a discrepancy in how texts or events are remembered. I use it to maintain alternative readings, and to amplify meanings.

Yoma, 3

Yoma, second significant rewrite. Here I have stripped out all the notes and most of the alternatives, to create a text that can be more easily read and critiqued. I leave the stars (*) to show where notes were stripped out.
Jump to Yoma 1, the first sketchout
Jump to Yoma 2, the first revision
Jump to Yoma 4, the completed version


Now the Yoma* uv hevvennee assents;
Beyonden ar Addom an the driven ergz,
Tu the gaten a liv an deth, the same.

With ar tulleet a tenten* in waverree feelz,
Faesles, stript ov ar boddee a pride,
Thaer we stanz befor ar Lor.
Hem expresshen ar dayz that we kan a volv,
Tu kwannaffy us, [ar (waez waevz werth) an ar][ossallaten a] skael.
The mappen uv Hem an the mappen uv us:
The differrenshelz, thay ar the skael.

Us, an enfoeld uv this limmennel werl
Uppon ar Addom at the ej uv the (See C)*.

Liken hi preesten we stan in this ej
In ar kotten kittelz* an a shrowd a deth,
[Stan in the gloem uv]
               [Unferrellen (life faeth hope) intu] Addomz tume*.
Faentlee, frinjen uv lite in the wawlz,
Slivverren Adenz* that pulsen (theze ar) selz,
Reshapen ar thots. How thin we ar!
Az klose tu God az a feengerz* breth
An az far awway, an the Lor iz vast!

Ware we be hoelden ar tumah seel.
Thaer (az we) unfoelden ar lumah weengz
Tu span the turbolen (See C skaelz) uv us.
An now we ar reddee tu (open(z) enter) the Ark
An (enter merjen speken) the Vois [that spoken the werl].
Momenten ajez, a skroel intu wun.
An then ar morneeng iz neerlee dun.

Yoma, 2

Here's the first significant rewrite of the poem Yoma, presented in the post Yoma, 1. As in that first post, letters, words, and phrases in quotes or brackets (and colored light red) are alternatives that I was juggling.
Jump to Yoma 1, the first sketchout
Jump to Yoma 3, the second revision
Jump to Yoma 4, the completed version


Now the Yoma* uv hevvennee assents;
Beyonden ar Addom an the driven ergz,

With ar tulleet a tenten* in waverree feelz,
Faesles, stript ov ar boddee a pride,
Thaer we stanz befor ar Lor
[Hem seez (an in the) mezherz the (werth skael) uv us]
    [Hem seez (an in the) mezherz an (valyuez skalen us]
    [Hem seez (an in the) mezherz ar ampeltuedz].
    [In ar waverree Seez Hem mezher us.]
    [Hem Seez for kwantaffy ar (waez waevz werth).]
(Hu Hem) expresshen ar dayz an we a volv it frum thaer.
The mappen uv Hem an the mappen uv us:
[(The In) disparattee(z) [an despaer uv us.]
    [The differrenshelz ar the maetrex uv us.]
Us, an enfoeld uv this limmennel werl
Uppon ar Addom *at the ej uv the (See C)*.
                        *-* eka d’omray: in the C uv God

Liken hi preesten we stan in this ej
In ar kotten kittelz* an a shrowd a deth,
[Stan in the gloem uv]
                [Unferrellen (life faeth hope) intu] Addomz tume*,
                        * eka d’omray: tumah, impyurattee
[Gaten tu life an deth, the same,]
Az klose tu God az a feengerz* breth
                        * eka d’omray: seengerz
An az far awway, an the Lor iz vast!

[(Thaer ar) prayen tu bild a brij]
                [Unberden ar seel an unfoelden weengz]
(Tu span)(Tu sael on) the (atternen turbolen) (breethen See C) uv us.
Momen an ajez, (ar watee werks)(now wun an the same),
(An (heer then so))(Until) the morneeng lite* iz (dun){weak}.                        * eka d’omray: pray

Yoma, 1

This post is the first of 4 in a progression showing the main steps in the evolution of the poem Yoma, from
1. its sketch in The Atternen Juez Talen, to
2. a significant rewrite [jump to this rewrite], then
3. a second significant rewrite [jump to this rewrite], and finally
4. the embedding of liturgical texts and explanatory notes. 
          [jump to completed version]
In reality, the process didn’t evolve like that. The original text in The Atternen Juez Talen included some explanatory notes. The first significant rewrite added more notes, and then later, liturgical excerpts from the ArtScroll Yom Kippur prayerbook. The second significant rewrite actually required my removing all the notes and liturgy, so I could appraise more easily the actual conceptual and literary flow of the poem. I have arranged the unpacking of the poem’s development in its current order to aid the reader, who, most likely, will find the final version rather complex and difficult to grasp as a whole, without first seeing the second rewrite version (step 3 in the list above), with notes and liturgy stripped out.

FYI, letters, words, and phrases in quotes or brackets (and colored light red) are alternatives that I was juggling. Actually I have removed a significant number of these alternatives to simplify the texts. When I am considering alternate words (or alternate suffixes) I place all of them in a single set of parentheses. When I am considering alternate phrases, I put each phrase in its own set of parentheses, or brackets if it’s a longer phrase.

Also, “eka d’omray” is a Talmudic term meaning “others say”, reflecting a disagreement among the sages, or a discrepancy in how texts or events were remembered. I use it to maintain alternative readings, and to amplify meanings.

Original version:

Now the Yoma*. Ar hevvennee assen(ts);
                     * Yoem Kepoor; name uv bouk in Tawlmid on the toppek
Begin (the in) (ar) deth-staten boddee an sens
Tu (the)  (klenzen klimen) (a) seel, holee a thot.
No (needen befogg(en ee)) (a) foodz, no [deziyerr(en ee) sex][(karnellee erj];
Stattes an munneez (left at the gaets)(havven no plase)(stript uv thaer meen).
With ar tulleet (drapen)(a tenten) over ar hed,
Faesles, (withowt)(stript ov) ar boddee a pride,
Thaer we stanz befor ar Lor
Hu seez an mezherz the werth uv us,
Him assinen ar (dayz daez) an we map it (on Hem)(frum thaer)
Then (mezherz wochen wayen) (wether how) we (lissen an serv)(map in on Hem).
Us, hu (livven)(enfoeld uv) this limmennel werl
Between (the ar) Addom (an Aden uv us)(an atternen Lief)
     (an the See a Lite)(an ar foton seel)(an the C uv us).

Eech uv us thaer liken hi preests
In ar kotten kittelz*, ar (dethee holee) (roebz shrowdz),
                 * robe uesd az shrowd; also worn on Yoem Kepoor
Standen (heer in)(in the gloem uv) Addomz (tume tumah),
Heer at Adenz (fiyerree impassabbel enshrowden) gaets,
[Gaten tu life an deth, the same,][The gaet a life az the gaet a deth,]
Az klose tu God az a (feengerz seengerz*) breth
                 * or eka d'omray both
[An az far awway az the Lor iz vast.][An yet a threshoel, hu kan (pas kros)?]
Thaer ar prayen tu bild a brij
Intu the atternen breth uv us.
Owwerz, ajez, ar hevvee werks
An then the shakhreet* (pray lite) iz dun.
                 * Heebru for morneeng