Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Diamoms, reforged

Yesterday I posted Nancy Gerth's "Diamoms" and my critique. The following is the result of Nancy's rethinking the poem. Comments welcome.


On blue ground,
Their loose charm a sudden jubilee of patience
For all the world to wash away,
Grow, phosphoring in shadow,
Round, radiant gazes
Glow-bezeled all with hair;

Pressure-proved and fire-intensed,
Some brew a kindly brilliance that forgives.
Their cradlings--overblued, and hard-edged,
Do rough and darkly trudge,
Save mothers smooth and light the ground
With dust and shine
From their own mother's diamonds.

Seeded with a billion and a half
Old sharded stars,
Earth’s early heart
Slips them one by one
From out beneath the mantle,
And spews them up the self-same pipe
We all must ride to heaven.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Seeing it here, like this, darkly trudging and begrudging even a faint flicker of fire
I hate it. Its just bad, is all. I still have your comments on the sun poem. Can't I put that one up? (whine, but you already knew that)